Someone on Twitter linked to an article called “What Would Happen If You Bought 25 Bottles of Nyquil” and it is one of the most hilarious things that I have read recently. I’m sure it’s because it appeals to my own poor impulse control, but I really enjoyed some of the more subtle moments. For example:
I mean, what kind of nanny state am I living in right now? I can’t even buy cold medicine anymore without the government all up in my shit? Why is my right to privacy being invaded in favor of incompetent police officers who lack the ability to catch drug dealers without spying on the average law abiding citizen?
I’ve long thought that limiting sudafed purchases was doing little if anything to stop the meth problem, so this article was particularly satisfying for me.
Ida developed a cold that progressed into pneumonia. Now Ida was a smoker. She said “to quit smoking well that’s easy. I ought to know. I have done it a thousand times” but the years of smoking left Ida’s lungs damaged and beyond repair. On this Good Friday March 21, 2008, Ida Mae Russell Sills slipped away and joined her beloved daughter in Heaven. Fortunately her husband Albert preceded her and joined his mother in a much warmer climate.
Despite the Onion-like quality, this is a real obituary.