Salt of the Earth

Just finished watching Flight 93 on A&E. Man so sad. Even though I haven’t thought of 9/11 in awhile this movie brought back so many memories. I felt so badly for those people on the plane when they were making their goodbye calls. I had so much anger towards the terrorists and when the passengers tried to take back the flight I was cheering them on… ‘get those mother f-ers’. I truly hope that never happens again. Just awful.

Now I’m watching the Howling iV. Maybe I should just turn my TV off and go to bed! LOL
T

Thomas had a good day today. After lunch we went to Costco to see if we could find a game or book for Thomas to spend his birthday money on. He found a puzzle book for $5. We went to Hoodwinked which turned out to be a really cute movie. My favorite part was right when the movie started and Thomas reached over and grabbed my hand and told me he loved me. He held my hand throughout the entire movie. It was the sweetest thing. I know my days are numbered for Thomas to be showing me his affection. In so many ways he’s so grown up- but in so many other ways he’s still my little chunky monkey. We ended the evening at Grants Philly Cheesesteak- Thomas’ all time favorite place to eat. The people there are so friendly. Grant (the owner and cook) and the waitress brought out 6 little cakes with candles in them and they sang Happy Birthday to Thomas. It was so sweet. 10 years ago I was in the hospital admiring my beautiful little creation. I’m so honored to be his mom. He and Graham both, are so very precious to me. I love being their mom.

Got my pillow today to sit on as per the doc’s request. I hope it works. i’m not going to class tomorrow. One more day of rest will be good.

pain killer is kicking in-
time to say nighty night!
T

It’s Thomas’ 10th birthday today. He’s now in double digits. WOW. Since he got a cello for Christmas we decided to have that count as a Christmas and Birthday gift. I did end up getting him a leather-man- with matching wallet. (it was one of those Christmas sets that got clearanced down to about five bucks) I took all the Christmas off the package and wrapped it up and called it good!

We had friends over last night- they brought a big chocolate cake for Thomas. It was a lot of fun and he enjoyed it. We are going to his favorite restaurant today and then to see Hoodwinked. (he’s been begging me to see that for about a month) His best friend is coming over after we get home- to give him a gift. But he doesn’t know that yet- so it will be a surprise.

This day is always a bittersweet day…… Like I said 10 years ago today I had my sweet Thomas and 9 years ago today my grandma died. Earlier in the month Mick had a conference in CA and as a Christmas gift he took Thomas and I with him to see my family. My Grandma got to meet Thomas and hold him and play with him. I took several pictures of her, my aunt, Thomas and myself. We celebrated her birthday while I was there. I made her a big white cake with raspberries on it. (she loved berries) I gave her candle and hand-prints from Thomas. It was a great night that we all had together. 10 days later she died in her sleep, watching Wheel Of Fortune. (her favorite) The night before I found out I had made her a Valentine and included the pictures I had taken while we visited her. I put it on the speaker by the door- so that I would remember to put it in the mail the next day. (she and I wrote to each other quite frequently) On Thomas birthday we were out celebrating and when we got home my mom called and gave me the news that my grandma had died. I was so shocked because I had JUST seen her and she seemed fine. This was on a Wednesday and we were having a small party for Thomas that Saturday-and Grandma’s service was going to be on Sunday. So I got everything ready for Thomas’ party, plus booked tickets for us to fly to CA a second time that month. We had to leave Thomas party a little early to get to the airport for our flight. We took some of his new presents with us and some cake to share with my other family members who were going to be there. We had Grandmas service the next day and then Thomas and I flew home the following day. Thomas doesn’t remember any of it- but we are all reminded of it every time Thomas’ birthday rolls around. I think my grandma lived a good life. A hard, but good life. Her death was peaceful- her roommate who was sitting next to her didn’t even notice that she had died until she tried to wake her up for dinner. It was a good way for her to go. I will always be thankful for that one last visit that we had. Raspberries will forever remind me of her….

Happy Birthday Thomas
I love you Grandma- you are still missed.

T

after taking some pain meds last night I felt confident enough to dabble in my new acrylics. I did a wash on the back ground and found the diluted acrylic very similar to watercolor. HOWEVER, the colors that I have are not colors I normally use. I prefer vibrant, blues, deep reds, purples etc…. These are more earth tones which I am pretty unfamiliar with =in the context of mixing and making different hues. ANYWAY…..I started by painting a shape that turned out to look like a bush/leaf/something. I couldn’t decide what to do next but i wanted to use my paint up before it dried. SO I painted a headless lady sitting cross legged. Painting is very different than drawing but I do enjoy it. Finished my lady and called it a night. Got up this morning and looked at the picture and realized that the lady is WAY out of proportion…. didn’t look so good after the meds wore off! LOL OH well- it was my first one. and I can always Gesso over it.

I didn’t win my ebay easel. I was outbid by $11. I’m ok with that. I didn’t realize the shipping was $30!!!! I’d rather go to my favorite little art store and get one there.

Back is a little better for now. My patch fell off in the middle of the night- after it’s 8 hours of pumping medicine into my back. I’m gonna try to take it easy today. Maybe paint some more.

T

Just back from the doctor for my back. No I haven’t gone until today and YES it’s gotten worse. I know, I know, I know…… I should have gone a month ago. In any case- there’s good news and bad news. Good news is that it isn’t my hip or tailbone-. Bad news I’ll be out of commission for awhile. Pretty much every muscle in my back is in full spasm which is causing all the other muscles to tense up and spasm as well. It’s like a chain reaction- which has led to or has caused a pinched nerve. Which explains the numbness in my toes. (yes, i know, not a good thing to let go for so long.) I was honest with the doc and told her I’d taken my husbands medication and yes it helped and also caused me to hallucinate. She said ‘Was it Cyclobenzaorun aka Flexeril”. I nodded. She said that was the best thing for back spasm. I am to stay off the couch, avoid stairs, use tiger balm patches, not carry anything and take drugs all weekend and use a donut pillow to sit on, etc….. I CAN go to my class on Tuesday but I can’t carry my bag. I only have one class that day- which is good. won’t need to stay at school as long and hopefully my back will be better by then. During the exam she moved my legs around, pushed and poked and bent my feet in abnormal positions. She then felt my back and said ‘ oh can you feel that? Your back is in full spasm now.” Honestly, I hadn’t noticed cause it all just hurts. I’ve been living with it for so long I guess I just kind of gotten used to it. She didn’t scold me- told me that if It wasn’t better by next week I’d have to do physical therapy. Then she wrote out my prescriptions and told me ‘don’t make any plans for the weekend!” LOL

My dad wants to encourage my art and offered to send some money to buy supplies. I told him I didn’t need anything and I was good. He said since he’s not here he wants to do something to show his support. I was torn when he offered to send money- because I didn’t need for him to send me money. BUT I know he really wants to- that’s how he shows his support. I told him just calling me and asking about my art is good enough for me. He said he’d already sent me money… LOL….

I’ve been looking at table top/portable easels. I have a big plans for the summer- I am going to paint all summer long… take the kids to the beach, park, mountains, river, etc… with my easel in tow. WOW i am SO excited for that. As soon as the weather gets nice I plan on spending a lot of tie in my rose garden painting them. I’m SO excited. So I bid on an easel/art set on ebay today. It’s a $250 easel and my bid is at $41-and I’m the highest bidder!! WOO HOOO I’ll know in about 6 hours if I won it!

Enough for now-i have to get out of this chair. I’ll write more when my pain killers kick in! LOL
T

A few of my favorite things……

Me in my element. My easel at home……

My friend Tif asked me to do this- and even before I got to the bottom of her blog I was thinking I would. Great minds think alike!! (Oh yeah, i forgot to mention that she’s also my niece)

Three Names You Go By
1. Tina
2. T
3. Buttercup or Boo

Three Things That Scare You
1. FISH
2. basements
3. seeing dead people

Three of Your Everyday Essentials
1. My children
2. water
3. Laffy Taffy

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. PJ’s
2. Slippers
3. Glasses

Three of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists:
1. Red Hot Chili Peppers
2. Albinoni
3. Bob Marley

Three of Your Favorite Songs - at the moment
1. Adagio in G- Albinoni
2. Natural Mystic- Bob Marley
3. Ain’t wasten Good Whiskey on you- Trick Pony

Three Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love)
1. trust
2. respect
3. Companionship/connectedness

Two Truths & a Lie
1. I have 2 children
2. I love doing art
3. I like goldfish (not the crackers- the ones with buggy eyes)

Three Physical Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to You
1. Shoulders
2. Buns
3. Teeth

Three of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. Drawing
2. Knitting
3. Printing/painting

Three Things You want to do really badly right now
1. Candy apple red ‘68 Mustang with a bitchin stereo
2. to be a size 8 like I was in high school
3. a big comfortable bed (i’m tired!)

Three Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. Hawaii
2. Italy/Rome
3. Back to England (not London though- a coastal city)

Three Things You Want to Do/Be Before You Die
1. Live to be at least 85
2. Master several art mediums
3. Visit the Titanic with TIf!

Three Ways that you are stereotypically a girl
1. Like Pink
2. Like pretty clothes/shoes/purses
3. LOVE to play in make-up

Three people I would like to see take this quiz
1. Mardean
2. Sue
3. Amy Sunleaf
(trying to think of who reads my blog! LOL)

Well, that sums it up in a nutshell! Mardean, Sue, and Amy- better get crackin at these questions! LOL
T

MAN, I have been having crazy, crazy dreams lately….. two nights ago was the topper. I dreamt that I was having a bible study with a bunch of women and during the study Jesus appeared in one of the chairs in the room. He was sitting in the chair but He was hunched over like He’d just been taken from the cross. A couple of the women said something like “i feel a presence in the room” and I kept saying ‘YEAH, it’s Jesus and he’s sitting in that chair”. But no one else could see him except me. And I kept trying to tell them- that Jesus was in the room with us. One lady finally believed me and said something to the effect that I was ‘gifted’ because I could actually see Jesus. I knew that I should feel calm but I was kind of scared and I wanted to help Jesus but I didn’t know how. Then the women all started telling their friends that I was the chosen one- the one who could see Jesus and they all surrounded me and were asking questions and stuff for me to tell Jesus. I woke up shortly after that.

Last night I dreamt that Mick was dancing with this girl whose blog I’ve been reading. After they were done dancing they disappeared and I couldn’t find him. So I came home and found him in bed with this blog girl. I was like ‘what the hell?” Mick started laughing and saying stuff like ‘what do you expect she’s hot!” I was crying and telling her to get out of my bed- she was in my spot too!!! It was awful.

I think I had the Jesus dream because I got into a religion discussion with my sister. Not sure why I had the dream about Mick and the blog girl. I think finding out about those 3 people getting divorced and the whole affair thing. Talked to another friend the other day and she suspects her husband of having an affair. She’s been checking his cell phone records a lot lately to see how much he’s been talking to this coworker outside of work. She was suspicious at first but then at the Christmas party a few of the people were joking around about her husband and this coworker having an affair. I guess I’m not very optimistic when it comes to things like this and my faith in fidelity isn’t that strong. I wish it was stronger but I’ve seen so much infidelity in my time that it’s hard to believe that people can actually stay monogomous. Not that I have a desire to be unfaithful-because I do not. i just wonder if it’s realistic to assume some one will be faithful to you forever. I think if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck… then guess what folks, it’s not a chicken. AH what do i know……

T

Yesterday was one of those days that was just sweet. The sun was out and I had a really good day. Started out with getting the boys ready for school- they didn’t fight at breakfast which is ALWAYS a good way to start the day. Dropped them off then headed out for errands before my class. (got cat food and cleaned the car) My campus is so beautiful i just love it. Got to class and my teacher was out sick but the model agreed to stay one hour-however, since the teacher wasn’t there he had to pose with clothes ON. I kicked ass in drawing- because it was something other than the human form! After wards a fellow student, Miles helped me make a registration board for my printmaking class. While in the printmaking studio I discovered that I am a bit of a hypocrite. I stayed in there for over an hour laughing and talking with the guys in there. I am still social- just picky who it’s with. There were 4 of us in there and we laughed for over an hour. The conversation was excellent too. Miles (whom i greatly admire for his art work) showed me some of his paintings done in acrylics. (I’ve been trying to get started in painting with acrylics-it’s a medium i’ve never used but I think it’s beautiful) I’ve been picking his brain since last term about this particular medium. SO he pulled one of his out of the painting room and told me how he did it. WOW- it was gorgeous! And his process seems so much simpler than the ones in the books. SO I am going to start painting in acrylics soon. I’m excited! So after my time hangin out in the art village I called my husband to see if he wanted to have lunch with me. ( a rarity because usually Tuesdays are spent on campus) I met him downtown and we went to the little Mexican food cart and I got NACHOS! MMMMM MMMM While we were having lunch a few of his coworkers came in to say Hi and ended up staying and chatting with us while we ate. it was another hour of laughing and good conversation. Headed home and got the boys- but had a very warm feeling inside because of my good day.

T

SO I finally watched the Sylvia episodes on Little House on the Prairie. When I saw her for the first time I was like- ’she didn’t look like that!” and then as i watched it I realized I had replaced her face with that of a friend of mine named Robyn. And slowly but surely as most memories do, the one that has plagued me all these years finally came back to me. During the airing of the Sylvia episodes Robyn had confided in me that someone was molesting her. She didn’t call it that but said something like “someone is doing the same to me”. I remember getting that sick feeling in my stomach and a sense of worry, i guess. She made me promise not to tell anyone and I really can’t remember if I did or not. She left school shortly after that- I believe that she was not in my 5th grade class. As soon as the molester guy on LHOP showed up I instantly got the hee-bee-gee-bees. Sent me into that full creeped out mode and i fast forwarded through all his talking parts. I still don’t know if that odd feeling I had towards the episodes was because of my friend Robyn or just because I felt very vulnerable and alone at that time in my life and was scared to death that would happen to me. I think it’s a fear that most women have- just being a woman makes us vulnerable in that sense. Perhaps I’m not the only one creeped out by this.

I’ve been getting a lot of static from my friends lately- that I’ve become a hermit. It’s not so much that I’ve hidden away- I just don’t feel social anymore. When I’m in a social environment I’m all good. But I don’t really choose to put myself in those settings anymore. I’m so content with myself now (my shrink would be happy to read this) and I don’t really feel I have that void. I think somewhere in the last couple years I’ve become very disillusioned and disappointed with people. I’m happiest with my family or in a one-on-one setting- like out to lunch with a very good friend- or IM-ing with a friend. I go days now, without talking on the phone. That’s VERY odd for me. But I’m really ok with it. I still enjoy my friends I just don’t depend on them for happiness anymore. I think that’s a good thing. Most of them understand this too. Like I’ve mentioned before my tolerance has lessened as well. Perhaps I am on that road to being an old crotchety, cat lady! ha ha ha Oh well, call it fate!

I’m going to bed
T