Another night of crazy dreams and restless sleep. I think it’s because i watched 30 minutes of American Wear-wolf in London right before I went to bed. I remember one of my dreams- my cat was in the tub with me- and as I realized this I noticed that his face was under water. i pulled him out and he took a few breaths then died. It was terrible! I was screaming and all confused. Mick had a restless night too-well, a night full of night terrors (which usually consists of a lot of blood curdling screams and talking in his sleep which he never remembers the next day) I however, wake up fully and remember ALL of his night terror the next day. i actually ended up sleeping through my alarm for 8 minutes because I had ear plugs in. I managed to shower, get the boys up and get us all out the door on time.
I’ve had a bad attitude lately. i don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve mentioned that my tolerance level for people is so low now… I just get irritated easily and people have been rubbing me wrong. I seriously don’t know why. And a part of me feels REALLy badly about it because it’s so not my nature. But little things- like this lady today in class. I wanted to tell her to shut the hell up- she was wasting class time ARGUING with the very experienced teacher. And this lady is really not bright. Normally i can just brush that off but I found myself glaring at her. I didn’t even feel any better when my fellow classmates told me they were glaring at her too. It just fueled my fire! I just feel like I’m in a rut. I need something really good to happen- something really happy and positive. I don’t even know what.
I’ve been thinking about adding a sub topic at the end of my blog- like I used to. I meet so many interesting people along the way and I feel like I should write about them.
i have finally figured out the rhino. After racking my brain i decided to go with what I know. And that is painting. I got these watercolor pens. They are just the shit!- (this is my new cool lingo that I’ve picked up from my hip class mates) You draw with them then use a brush to blend the colors. I got it after two tries and am SO happy. I will be drawing them on to my board and start carving on Thursday. My teacher is having me try a new technique- a different type of carving for this one. She said it’s WAY advanced but have a go at it….. we’ll see…..
enough from me
Along the way… I met this girl in one of my classes. She used to live in Las Vegas. She worked as an escort but decided to quit that job and move to Oregon for the weed. (her exact words). She’s Jewish- so I don’t know how that plays into her old line of work. She used to get a kick out of going out to dinner with her dad because all his friends would think he had hired an escort for the evening. She told me she liked to smoke her weed then go for long drives. I asked her where she lived and when she liked to do this- and then made a mental note to never drive there during those times. She always leaves class really early- like half way through and she opens her mouth really wide before she starts talking. She’ll go from talking about a traditional Jewish dinner to telling me about the $40 bag of weed she bought over the weekend. I like her- she’s quirky but she’s nice.
We just got home from having dinner at our friends house. We like these friends. They are good people. They’ve been good friends for a long time now- since Thomas was about one. They have 3 kids- a 13 year old boy that my boys adore. Two little girls that I am in love with. The youngest is just so sweet. Tonight she was playing Sleeping Beauty. She would lay down and pucker up and wait for her prince to kiss her. She first picked Mick to be her prince. So very sweet. Then I got picked to be her prince. Her little lips were puckered the entire time she had her eyes closed. So sweet. Her big sister who is 4 1/2 is just the cutest little girl too. The two girls were heartbroken tonight because Graham didn’t want to play with them- he wanted to play with Thomas and Andrew. Graham had gone into the girls room to play with them for a little bit in the beginning- but the girls shut the door and wouldn’t let him out. It was hard to convince him to play with them after that! After some coaxing he decided to play with them again and they said ‘do you want to play dress up- we have pretty dresses” and Graham bee lined out of their room. He got another offer to play Polly Pockets but once again decided against it. He was very nice about it and said ‘no, thank you”. It was a great evening with great people. Annalissa is very dear to me. She’s been a good friend to me for many years. I truly value her friendship and appreciate her.
Watched Apolo Anton Ohno skate last night- WOW. He is so awesome. I enjoyed watching him 4 years ago as well. He was less cocky this time and so focused and determined. There is just something beautiful about watching speed skaters skate- especially when they take the corners and put their hands down. He made a crazy mistake and almost got knocked out of the race- due to a Chinese guy flailing his arms around and trying to pass without room- Apolo got to race in the final. I had seen the Koreans skate and wasn’t sure if Apolo could beat them because they were team racing (which is against the rules if you can prove it!) So after two false starts Apolo is in first place with two Canadians close behind- the crazy Korean in 5th place. Apolo held his first place position throughout the entire race- taking those turns with grace and ease. Final lap the Korean finally makes a pass- but it wasn’t good enough to take Apolo down. Apolo crossed the finish line first- which sent me into whoops of celebration. It was amazing-!! He So deserved the gold for that race. I keep trying to talk my husband into shaving off his beard into a soul patch like Ohno’s. OOO LA LA!!!
Ok, off to finish laundry then hit the sack.
it’s friday. yeah!!!! I’m so glad. I need a nice relaxing weekend.
I went to the studio today all prepared to print my heart out. I pulled 3 prints Mono I haven’t uploaded them yet because I only like one out of 3. It’s a blue background with a white rhino- outlined. It’s for Mick. Just a practice for the wood block I will be doing shortly. I bought a frame for it today- and will give it to Mick as a surprise when he gets home tonight. Just a little ‘thank you’ for him for letting me do all this art stuff. Getting back into monotype is a really big deal for me. I had a hard time with the inks today- as I am unfamiliar with this brand (water based). I used to use oil base which didn’t dry as quickly. I brought the plates and the ink home to use over the weekend. I want the boys to make one. Then I’ll print it on Tuesday. ah printmaking (smile).
As I was leaving I bumped into my teacher and we started talking about my prints and what not. She told me I seemed ‘off’ all week and wondered if I was ok. I told her there was just stuff going on in my life that was stressing me out and I didn’t go into detail just told her it was crazy. She shared a few stories with me about the crazy people in her life. She told me a particular story about her husbands ex-wife and her whole point was that she just had to come to accept things like this in life. Once she did that- it was fine. So I guess I’m on a ‘new’ path of acceptance. Accepting situation that I can not change. Situations I do not understand. Today at the bus stop the husband parked way up past the bus stop- in a spot he’s never parked before. (prior to last Friday, we parked parallel so we could visit until the bus came- and if my spot was taken he’d jump out of his truck and come up to the van to talk to me.) I just pulled into my normal spot and waited for the bus. I really don’t like playing the avoidance game. Apparently, he does. Oh well. Grow up.
But it’s Friday and I don’t have to deal with bus stops and idiots for a few days.
sigh…. finally home and I am pooped. Today was a very busy day at school. Well, not so much for drawing- we had a lecture (ugh) and then went to the printmaking lab for a demo on drypoint. (my teacher does it every term to introduce a new medium to her drawing students). Since i don’t have my portfolio back yet I worked on my dragon drypoint for my printmaking class. I got 6 prints pulled- will turn in my 5 best. I’ll get those back tomorrow in lab and then I’ll upload them onto my gallery. My new assignments are gonna be tough because i don’t have a lot of time to get them all done. My classmates have one project left- multiple block print- and I have three: multiple block print, hard ground etching, and monotype. I keep reminding myself- she wouldn’t have given them to me if she didn’t think I couldn’t handle it…… I have been struggling with my composition for my multiple block print. I decided to do a rhino for Mick. It’s a cool looking rhino, but making it into a block print is just killing me. Mick’s friend Rob gave me some great suggestions but I am still pulling my hair out over this one. HOWEVER, if i can pull this one off it will be well worth it and very cool. A fellow printmaker said ‘go home and write music”. Apparently that will help me become a better printmaker. I’m not sure how so- but you never know.
Classes were good today. I love the printmaking studio. i love the people in the printmaking studio. two of the girls who are in the 3rd level kept asking me questions today about this hardground etching. I kept telling them- I haven’t done it before I’m only level 1! It’s so funny because at the beginning of the term they seemed a bit stand offish- but after talking with them today I see that they are both just VERY shy and very talented.
The two girls in my drawing class that insisted on using that electric pencil sharpener have stopped using it. (YIPEE) They sat by me this week and befriended me. They are frustrated in the class- as I am this term. They are both very talented and a bit off. But then again, so am I. (a bit off that is)
It will be a week tomorrow that Thomas got his hand slammed in the door and all hell broke loose. I’ve been trying to reflect on that situation and try to figure out what I could do differently next time. i don’t want to be upset by the actions/threats of other people. I don’t know how that situation could have been avoided or if anything could be done differently in the future. I think part of having kids is accepting responsibility for them and their actions and what comes with all of that. I’d love to live in a perfect world but we don’t. I don’t know….. Everything happens for a reason, I just haven’t figured the reason for this one.
I’ve been listening to Mayonaise by Smashing Pumpkins. I always forget how amazing that song is. The guitar is fabulous. All around beautiful song.
Ok, dinner time
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sigh…. the worst is over now. I confronted my neighbor (aka bitch lady). It bothered me all morning but only in the back of my mind. She jumped out of her car and said “so what do you want to do about this sweetie?” I said ‘nothing.” Then she went into her whole song and dance about how bad their insurance is and they have so many claims against them and she can’t have another claim because blah blah and blah blah and i finally held my hand up and said “DARCY- listen to me for one minute. I appreciate you offering to pay for the doctor bill, but I am not going to have you do that. I’m not filing a claim as of right now. Here is the information for my insurance agent AND medical insurance you are free to call them. And if you still feel the need to bring a lawyer in- you can discuss that with my insurance agent-but as of now, I am done with this.” She offered to pay the bill several times more and I just sat in my car listening to her thinking ‘what a lunatic’. She then told me that she cried all weekend and she just doesn’t handle stuff like this well. I didn’t sympathize with or for her- but I did have to bite my tongue because I wanted to say ‘good, I’m glad you cried all weekend and you should be ashamed of yourself.’ but i didn’t…… she ended the conversation with asking when they could bring Girl Scout cookies over and I just said ‘whenever’. I’m glad it’s over now and no, my children will NOT be allowed to go to her house or ride in her car. That’s MY decision.
Drawing was frustrating today- i wasn’t grasping the concept. it was color mass- which i can’t do very well and honestly, i don’t like it. My little buddy, Miles, came back to school today. He seems ok. and very strong. A couple people surrounded him and were talking to him about his mom. I could sense he was a bit uncomfortable so when he sat down next to me- I said ‘ how ya doin” and he said ‘good’ and I said ‘good’. And left it at that. After class he decided to head over to printmaking with me. On the way over he asked me if everyone knew what happened and I said I thought so. Then I asked how he was and he said ‘ok’. He then shared the story with me about how his mom died. I was very touched that he did- he’s a pretty private person. While telling me the story several times I wanted to cry-but I didn’t because he was being so strong. He was with her when she took her last breath. He said it was a beautiful moment that left him totally at peace. He hung out with me the entire time i was there and we got into a really deep conversation about art, life, my awaking, spirituality, death, what moves him, what inspires him, etc…. strangely, i felt really grounded after that conversation. And for 2 hours, i forgot about my neighbor and everything fell into perspective for me. As i headed out the door he said ‘keep it loose’ and I said “WHAT?” it’s a saying on a sign that someone put above the clock in the studio….. pretty funny. For some strange reason, that conversation made everything in mind that I’ve been struggling with- ok. It’s hard to explain. Miles is a good guy- and in many ways reminds me of Isamu.
I am so excited. I get to start Monotype on Thursday……. OH I have been waiting for this for awhile now. I plan on spending my lab time on Friday totally dedicated to this. I CAN”T WAIT!!! It’s my passion. I’m SO excited….
well, i’m really pooped now. Gonna unload my school bag and find the stuff i need for my art class
Monday is here- boys are home from school. Not a surprise but this is an actual holiday. (they NEVER have school cause Oregon schools suck). Weekend was good. My mind has been on this finger/insurance/bitch neighbor thing. I’m not as angry as I was on Friday. I found out that it is MY medical insurance that is no fault when it comes to car injuries. Still not clear on what that means other than if it happens in a car- car insurance pays for it. I kind of dreading tomorrow at the bus stop. It’s hard to hide feelings when they are still so raw. I’m kind of thinking that my neighbor will not let her kids take the bus anymore. (she’s very dramatic like that). My biggest fear in all of this is that the kids will have to suffer for this incident. This neighbor is one of those people who talks badly about people in front of her kids and *almost* encourages them to back her up. (very sad) I just don’t want them saying mean things to my kids-and I know there is nothing I can do about that. It’s just sad because Thomas got his finger hurt and now he may get his feelings hurt (which sometimes can be worse-fingers mend, hearts stay broken longer) Like I said, i can’t do anything about that. But it’s what bothers me the most. I am prepared for a confrontation this time and I have my car/medical insurance all ready to hand over to them if they start telling me I’m wrong or asking questions again. My car insurance agent said the lady can sue me if she wants, but she’ll lose. I’m not so worried about that- I’m just disgusted that she threw the lawyer card out for something that should never have warranted that kind of behavior. I just don’t understand ‘sue’ happy people. Maybe I should cause apparently they are very common. Several of my friends called this weekend to check on Thomas finger (news travels fast). I left out the neighbor part with the exception of my two good friends. They were in total disbelief as they know this lady and her children. One of my friends said she wasn’t surprised because she’s seen this lady go lunatic on the secretary in the school for not letting her in to get her child’s folder. You learn so much about people when something like this happens. Tomorrow after school will be interesting. I’m truly not looking forward to it.
SO in the midst of all that happened on Friday- I forgot to mention that my aunt and uncle were in town to visit my cousin and his wife and their new baby, Abby. Mick had his own adventures on Friday on the max. So all around it was a pretty stressful evening- that ended nicely with my family. I gave her the little hat i made her when I found out she was born. It fits just perfectly now. My cousin sent a picture to me with the hat on.
Well, I have to clean today. So I better get up and do so.
what a day……
The morning and early afternoon were good. I was settling in after having lunch with Mick and running errands- and getting things ready for what I thought would be a relaxing Friday afternoon with the boys. (we got Corpse Bride and Carmel popcorn-and were going to put jammies on as soon as the boys got home from school) I was talking with my neighbor at the bus stop and as the kids got off the bus they came over to my neighbors car. My neighbors son accidently slammed Thomas’ hand in the door which resulted in a lot of screaming and a trip to the doctor. Nothing on Thomas’ hand was broken- just a very bruised finger. Since Oregon is a no fault state my medical insurance doesn’t cover ‘car injuries’- car insurance does. So I paid the bill in full- came home called the insurance company and was told to get my neighbors car insurance so we could file a claim. I asked if they would have to pay anything- or if their rates would go up. Dan, my agent said NO. So I called the neighbor who was in the car, Darcy and told her what happened. She was concerned until I asked for her insurance information. She said she wouldn’t give it to me because she had a deductible and she wasn’t going to pay the deductible for this accident. She then asked me how far I wanted to take ‘this’ because if necessary she’d get other people-a lawyer- involved. I tried to explain to her that all I wanted was to file a claim- per my agents request. She got bitchy and told me that she didn’t believe that my health insurance wouldn’t pay and that if that were the case my kids were not ever allowed around her car again. (sigh….). After giving up trying to tell her I didn’t want to take her to the cleaners- we hung up. 1/2 hour later her husband called- and he was much nicer and very apologetic. He had spoken to his insurance agent who told him I was wrong and they would have to pay the deductible and their rates would go up. (not sure why). I hung up with him and called my agent back again- got the same information as before and he said we shouldn’t even deal with these people. The husband calls back AGAIN. Tells me that his daughter hit her eye on the tailgate of their truck 4 years ago and their medical paid for that- not their car insurance. I reiterated what my guy said and hung up. 5 more minutes go by, he calls AGAIN wanting to know if I was going to file a claim with MY insurance because my insurance would ultimately go after them and they didn’t want that so he offered to pay the doctor bill again. I reiterated i was NOT after the money but the claim- per my agents request. They insisted that I was wrong even though a year ago when Graham slammed his finger in the car door i had to go through the car insurance to pay for the bill. Same situation here. The husband told me to call him this weekend- i had his cell phone number and blah blah blah blah …… I haven’t decided what to do yet- other than contact my insurance agent again on tuesday and tell him that I would be giving his name and number to these imbeciles so they could call him and argue it out with him. A part of me is trying to be mature about this and let it go- but a very big part of me wants my insurance to go after them. (which is what will happen if they refuse to give me their information) I don’t want the money. But I also want them to know it is NOT ok to threaten me. People like that are the lowest of the low- gutter trash. I am truly appauled at this woman’s reaction and I know I will not deal with her again- even on a friendly level. The sad truth is that Thomas and her daughter are best friends. UGH…… I truly have no tolerance for people like this. I don’t expect an apology from her- but even if she gave me one- it wouldn’t matter. It’s that whole thing about true colors. And hers are very ugly.
Had class today. The model was late- so everything was a bit off for me. The migraine i started getting on Tuesday came on full blown by yesterday afternoon. It was a doozy down to the queazy stomach. By 10pm I was in agony and not able to take more meds cause my stomach was so bad. So I turned off the lights and put an ice pack on my face. (Thomas was in my bed and Graham was on my floor since Mick was in San Francisco). Some how in the middle of the night it went away.
Several people have asked why some of my drawings weren’t finished. I forgot to explain that the pictures were done in class and mostly 2-10 minute poses. So I went back into my gallery and put the times on all the poses. Art Pictures
My little art buddy, Miles- his mom died on Sunday. He’ll be gone from school for the next week or so. So sad. He’s only 22.
Well, off to do homework
There are a few things in life that cause a chain reaction- such as barfing, giggling, and crying. I can’t say that one out weighs the other- and giggling gets me in the most trouble. Crying is the hardest to control. And barfing…. i hate the smell of barf.
Today I saw my friends (the one that was diagnosed with MS) Mom, Carol. Carol works at the boys school as a TA. When I turned to leave I saw her standing in the office and our eyes met and she immediately started to tear up- and I said “OH Carol” and she burst into tears. She said no one else at the school knows but that she knew that Mark and Tami would tell me. She then told me that prior to being a TA she was a nurse who took care of people with MS and she knows the disease all to well and watching her daughter go through it is going to be the hardest thing she’s ever done in her life. I had no comforting words to tell her- except how much I loved her daughter and son in law and that I was there for them, and I’d pray for them. UGH …. that school and heartbreaks……
My teacher was gone today from class- her mom had a heart attack and was having a stint put in so my teacher stayed with her today. we had a sub who was really nice and spent most of the class sitting behind me and giving me all these great hints and tips on foreshortening. I felt really honored. He is an accomplished artist who can draw like it’s nobodies business. We had my least favorite model today- we call him boner. For those of you who haven’t heard the story- use your imagination and you’ll be right. He is the hardest to draw cause he is so skinny- all my pictures look like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons.
I picked some mini cupcakes up for my class. This classmate of mine works in this really nice bakery and she brought donuts and muffins. She heard me talking about how much I love blueberry muffins so she brought me a half dozen. It was so nice of her. And they were yummy too. I left before my second class stated. Started getting a migraine and wanted to get home and get it under control before the boys got home. 2 pills and a mini nap always does the trick if I catch it early enough.
My biggest and sweetest surprise of the day was a velvet heart shaped box of chocolates that Mick surprised me with. He picked each piece out- even picked a chocolate butterfly. (as well as some little hearts, a cat, ginger, and a few others that look too good to eat). I’ll take pictures and post them tomorrow. We took the kids out to dinner with us tonight. Ended the evening watching the olympics.
I’m tired now, so I’m getting into bed.
Tonight at cub scouts as we were leaving one of the leaders stopped me to talk. He informed me that his wife woke up on Saturday morning with numbness on her whole left side-they rushed her to the emergency room cause they thought she had a stroke. After spending a day at the emergency room they found out she had MS. They are devastated by this. The leader- who happens to be a friend of mine- is just devastated. His eyes were all teary and I could tell that he’d been crying and was on the verge of crying again. Just when I think I have battles to fight, I find someone else who has it worse off than I do. His wife has several doctors appointments in the next few months and i offered to drive her to them if they needed help. They are good people. I’m so sad for them.
It’s cold here now. Sun was out today so we played outside for awhile. Neighbor came over with his kids and dog. He and I sat in the lawn chairs and froze as the kids rode around on their bikes.
Tomorrow is Valentines Day. I have class so I won’t be at the kids school for Jump Rope for Heart. I’m going to try to leave class a little early so I can catch the tail end of their parties.
Brrrrrrrr I’m cold so I’m getting into bed with my electric blanket.