i reached my 50 pound weight loss goal today. I am happy beyond words. The original goal was to lose 50 pounds by the beginning of the year and I did it!!!!
I don’t know what my next goal is- I’m just gonna enjoy this one for awhile.
T
This Christmas has been a very good one. I am happy and full of family love. You know, the kind that feeds your soul and makes you smile. The kind you can only get from good family lovin.
My parents got in on Saturday. They came over and I made dinner- and we celebrated the last night on Hanukkah (one night late so that my mom could be a part of the festivities) It’s good to see my parents. They are in good spirits. My mom is fragile. Her accident has given her a new spin on life but has also left her wary and zapped some of the spunk out of her. She showed me her hand. It’s not as bad as I imagined in my mind. It still hurts her. Her middle finger has no tip/nail. The pointer finger is still healing- looks very similar to Graham’s after he slammed it in the car door- maybe a bit worse. She gets teary eyed a lot and has cried before dinner every night while saying grace. It’s hard to see her weak. She’s not a weak person so this is kind of new. She told me tonight that there are few things she’d change in her life but for the most part she’s content. She’s empathetic for family members that are on the receiving end of hurtful actions and behaviors. I too wish I could change this- because my heart breaks every time it happens. I wish I could change it for her because it does cause a lot of grief in her life. I think it would be easier if she were the one being directly hurt instead of watching her family suffer the consequences of one persons choice. It’s sad. But I have no magic wand or even words to make the situation better. I can only hope that maturity and time will cure this problem. That would require a miracle. But then again- it’s Christmas…..
have a good one
T
i had my first visit to the physical therapists this morning. I’ve been dreading it- because when ever I’d go for my knee I’m come home exhausted and in more pain than I left with. But since my back has gotten worse I was willing to give it a try. After filling out 6 pages of paperwork and briefly explaining how I injured my butt bone, Mark (physical therapist) had me change into an open back gown. As he was telling me what i could keep on I asked if I could keep my stretchy sweat suit pants on and he said yes. Prior to asking I was regretting my choice of underwear but thankful I didn’t go commando. So I’m faced down on the massage table and Mark breaks out the oil to start doing some deep tissue massage. He identified the pain areas but saying ‘does it hurt here?” and applying pressure. Now if you’ve ever scared a sleeping cat and seen it jump straight up into the air claws out- that is pretty close to what I looked like when he hit my butt bone area. At one point he said “excuse my hands but I have to touch your…..” and I said ” i know, i know, you have to touch my butt. It’s ok. That’s where the pain is”. He laughed. Once he started massaging my lower back and the muscles started to loosen up my eyes rolled into the back of my head and all I could do was moan “ahhhhhhhhhh”. I was totally into the comfort. Then he excused himself from the room so I could sit up without flashing him and roll onto my back where he had placed this huge, soft heating pad. I got to lay on that for 10 minutes and it was sheer bliss. My back feels a little better- but not 100% yet. I go back tomorrow and then twice a week for 2 more weeks. I had to get an X-Ray today to see what’s going on bone wise. In the next few weeks we should know what the diagnosis is and I should be able to go back to the gym. Oh and by the way- I’ve lost another 1.5 pounds. YIPEEEEE
gonna go chill with my boys cause I’m all relaxed and dopey now.
T
WHOO! Life has been a whirl wind lately- but it’s all good, just busy.
First things first- my finals went VERY well. My art teacher once again wanted all of my paintings-but since two are Christmas presents I had to decline. She was not happy- in a playful way- and told me I owed her two paintings for the gallery. I gave her two prints that I did this term in hopes to appease her. She was happy and told me one would go in the Deans office and the other in the faculty hallway- (which is a HUGE privilege). I was very flattered that she regards my art so highly. The independent study in printmaking has once again changed and the teacher wasn’t going to allow students to do it. SO I talked to the new printmaking teacher and she got special permission for me -through the Dean- to take an independent study. I was very happy and i didn’t even need to put my bitch on to get it.
The boys are out of school now-Friday was their last day. Tuesday last week Thomas preformed with the orchestra at Clackamas mall. It was so very sweet. He had a duet with his teacher and he did SO well. I just don’t know if he will ever understand just how proud I was/am of him. Graham had his “winter’ program on Thursday night and he was spectacular. He knew all the words to the songs and he was very animated. He was a snow flake- and he looked adorable. A big wind storm was hitting us that night and 10 minutes after we returned home we lost power. Graham was kind of scared but once he found me he was ok. We played name that tune with Mick’s ipod and portable speakers and it was a lot of fun. I was tired and cold so I got into bed before we got power back-and Graham got into bed with me and was pretty much glued to my side until Mick came to bed. Friday Thomas sang in the school choir at the old folks home- same as last year. It was so sweet. Yes, i cried again. Afterwards I went to the boys school and painted faces and participated in their parties. Right as school got out it began to snow- big, beautiful snow flakes. Perfect way to end the day.
Friday night we had Mick’s company party. It was nice to see some of the people but I was so tired from the crazy week before. Saturday night we celebrated Christmas with our very good friends- the Bartons. As always, so very special. Sunday we celebrated Hanukkah with our good friends, Lauren and Kaleigh. We had started Hanukkah on Friday by lighting the Manorah and playing with the dreidel before heading to Mick’s party. Graham is greatly enjoying Hanukkah and his knowledge of the holiday surprises me. Last night we went ice skating with the cub scouts and Thomas had a friend spend the night.
I’ve lost 45 pounds now- and still going strong. My doctor has nixed my workout until i complete physical therapy since my tail bone is not healing like it should. I start that this week- BLAH!!! I hate health issues. i have these really cute jeans that everyone has been telling me make my butt look good. So yeah, babies got back……
My mom is doing much better and she and Tom will be driving here this Friday to spend Christmas with us. We are very excited. I have to wrap presents and figure out what needs to get done but it’s hard with the boys home. I enjoy hanging out with them and I’m SO glad they are home for vacation.
I think that sums it up for now. The boys are hungry so I better feed them.
T
ah i am sitting here so glad today is over. I am starting finals this week. I actually have two huge projects due on Wednesday and my artists book too. I love doing the stuff- but I am a perfectionist so I like it to be done very well. I am going to try to get a chunk of it done tonight but I am really tired so i don’t know how it will go.
Somedays I feel like my children suck the life right out of me. I love them to death but man oh man… The second Thomas got in the car today he began complaining and blaming me because he lost one of his books. (since i do not see him while he is at school I know that this is impossible. He’s a space case and loses things all the time. Brilliant+spacey=Thomas) i let him vent for a few minutes then I told him he needed to come up with a better solution. He continued. i told him he needed to stop immediately. He continued. I gave one more warning- he continued. It took everything I had to not lay into that child. I told him nicely, but sternly “you need to go away from me right now. You’ve maxed me out and I can no longer listen to you.” He looked shocked- and I pointed my finger to my door. He opened his mouth to object and I gave him a look that said “if you want to live….” He scurried out of my room. They are both in bed now- they tried pulling the crap where they giggle of goof around and I gave them ONE warning- which was enough. And they are both very silent in their rooms. I didn’t lose my temper but I was on the verge many, many times. I’m just stressed right now about school and everything i need to get done in this next week. Seems like everyone needs a piece of me right now. I just need some sleep.
I woke up really early this morning cause I had a strange dream. I dreamt of the big house we lived in when we lived in Colorado. I loved that house. It was beautiful. I have so many good memories from that house. In my dreams I have bought that house and am living in it with my family and I have this sense of “ah, I’m finally home.” Lately my dreams are of me moving from that house- as a grown up. And I don’t want to move but for some reason I have to and I have to catch a plane and nothing i packed up in my house. I don’t know.. it’s strange. When I lived in that house as a child I had this huge, wonderful doll house that I converted from an old book shelf. I loved that doll house. I collected minitures of everything from a table to a kool-aid pitcher with little ice cubes in it. I still have some of the minitures and have often thought of somehow displaying them. I’m not sure how I could do that…. They are so precious to me. I still love minitures.
My painting class is going so well. My teacher rocks. She asked to buy one of my prints today. I was flattered. I think I’ll trade her a print for one of her paintings. I’d LOVE to own something of hers. We have a good bond, she and I. My printmaking teacher never ceases to amaze me. Thursday i met with her to show her my prints and she asked me to frame one of each so she could display them. She has NEVER asked me to do this and she RARELY asks people to do it. I was completely honored. She then told me I could take independent study again next term. That was big and very good news. So, it’s all good.
i need to paint.
T