Salt of the Earth

ah i am sitting here so glad today is over. I am starting finals this week. I actually have two huge projects due on Wednesday and my artists book too. I love doing the stuff- but I am a perfectionist so I like it to be done very well. I am going to try to get a chunk of it done tonight but I am really tired so i don’t know how it will go.

Somedays I feel like my children suck the life right out of me. I love them to death but man oh man… The second Thomas got in the car today he began complaining and blaming me because he lost one of his books. (since i do not see him while he is at school I know that this is impossible. He’s a space case and loses things all the time. Brilliant+spacey=Thomas) i let him vent for a few minutes then I told him he needed to come up with a better solution. He continued. i told him he needed to stop immediately. He continued. I gave one more warning- he continued. It took everything I had to not lay into that child. I told him nicely, but sternly “you need to go away from me right now. You’ve maxed me out and I can no longer listen to you.” He looked shocked- and I pointed my finger to my door. He opened his mouth to object and I gave him a look that said “if you want to live….” He scurried out of my room. They are both in bed now- they tried pulling the crap where they giggle of goof around and I gave them ONE warning- which was enough. And they are both very silent in their rooms. I didn’t lose my temper but I was on the verge many, many times. I’m just stressed right now about school and everything i need to get done in this next week. Seems like everyone needs a piece of me right now. I just need some sleep.

I woke up really early this morning cause I had a strange dream. I dreamt of the big house we lived in when we lived in Colorado. I loved that house. It was beautiful. I have so many good memories from that house. In my dreams I have bought that house and am living in it with my family and I have this sense of “ah, I’m finally home.” Lately my dreams are of me moving from that house- as a grown up. And I don’t want to move but for some reason I have to and I have to catch a plane and nothing i packed up in my house. I don’t know.. it’s strange. When I lived in that house as a child I had this huge, wonderful doll house that I converted from an old book shelf. I loved that doll house. I collected minitures of everything from a table to a kool-aid pitcher with little ice cubes in it. I still have some of the minitures and have often thought of somehow displaying them. I’m not sure how I could do that…. They are so precious to me. I still love minitures.

My painting class is going so well. My teacher rocks. She asked to buy one of my prints today. I was flattered. I think I’ll trade her a print for one of her paintings. I’d LOVE to own something of hers. We have a good bond, she and I. My printmaking teacher never ceases to amaze me. Thursday i met with her to show her my prints and she asked me to frame one of each so she could display them. She has NEVER asked me to do this and she RARELY asks people to do it. I was completely honored. She then told me I could take independent study again next term. That was big and very good news. So, it’s all good.

i need to paint.
T