Salt of the Earth

Well so much has happened since I last blogged. First of all- my dad came to visit for a week and we had a wonderful time. It was so good to see him and he took our minds off of our kitty. We took him to the zoo and spent 3 wonderful days at the beach. In the middle of his visit my cousin came to visit from Colorado. We took her along to the beach as well. I’ll try to blog our days activities in a separate blog. After my dad left we were all sad and missing him so we stopped at the pet store to look at kitties. UGH…. We saw three incredible little fur balls that just stole our hearts at first sight. The boys begged and begged me to get one…. i called Mick and he suggested we wait so that he and i could discuss it. The boys watched the kittens jump around for a little longer and we left. When Mick got home the boys begged and begged for new kitties- and he told them he’d discuss it with me. he and I talked about and he voiced the concerns that had run through my head. Such as- ‘is it too soon?’, ‘do we want one, or two?’ etc… I told him that I thought that two would be a good number, so that they could keep each other company. Mick said he’d think about it and make a decision in the morning. The boys were up early the next morning in anticipation of taking Mick to see the fur balls. When we got there the store keeper took all the cats out and let the boys start playing with them. i stood back and tried to read Mick’s facial expressions in hopes of getting some idea of what he was thinking. After about 20 minutes I pulled Mick aside and asked him what he thought. He nodded and smiled. I then asked him the hardest question- ‘which two?’…. and he said ‘well, i think we should take all three.” I was so happy…. I called the boys over and told Mick that he had to give them the news. When he told them ‘all three’ they started hugging him and jumping up and down. It was awesome. So we packed them in a box, paid and brought them home. Oh they are so darn sweet. They are 8 weeks old and long haired. After a few days of discussing names we finally decided on Rori (little girl kitty), Butters (cause he’s butterscotch in color), and Baby Elvis (Elvis was a nick name for our kitty that we lost). The boys are so happy and Mick just shakes his head as they terrorize our home and get into everything that isn’t nailed down. We never tried to ‘replace’ our kitty, just fill the hole that his death left behind. 3 naughty kittens is a sure way to fix that!!!

I’m smiling ear to ear
T

I’m having a sad moment- I’m just out of sorts today. Well, i’ve been out of sorts since our kitty died. I was actually shocked yesterday at how sad i was. I just couldn’t stop being unsad. Graham and I met Mick and Thomas down town after their Bridge Pedal. It was good to get out of the house. I was on the verge of tears all day long and had a very hard time throwing on my happy face for the kids. We ate at Macaroni Grill and then afterwards I remembered I had a gift certificate for my favorite art store which is by Mick’s office-and I don’t get to go to it very often. Usually I’m very excited to do so since it’s a major treat- and to have a gift certificate on top of that- WOW WEE!!! I walked around in a daze- going up and down the isles and just staring at the different art supplies that usually make the artist in my jump for joy (like a kid in a candy shop with a pocket full of birthday money). I just didn’t really care and none of it cheered me up. I ended up getting a book with some projects in it- I figured it would be good to do them and take my mind off my kitty. I took the long way back to Mick’s office. I just wanted to walk- or hobble. I just wanted to be unsad.

I had my doctors appointment today for my foot. She said it isn’t healing as fast as it should so i need more X-rays and all that stuff. Before she left she said “are you sleeping ok? I’ve never seen you like this.” I told her about my kitty. She was sympathetic-she’s a dog person. I told her I’d be fine in a few days. She said to come back if I’m not. She also said not to let anyone tell me ‘it was JUST a cat”. It’s a sad loss to our little family. She took more blood for extensive tests for anemia. And then I left.

I’m trying to read A Million Little Pieces. It’s a good read. I enjoyed reading it more when I didn’t know that most of it is bullshit. Oh well…..

well that’s it from me
T

Tonight we said goodbye to our kitty cat of 15 years. We just came in from burying him in our yard. It was completely devastating. He woke up fine but throughout the day was having trouble breathing. Earlier in the day i called the vet and was instructed to keep an eye on him. By this evening i knew we had to take him in. Mick volunteered and we packed him in his carrier and off they went. Usually Nietzsche howls like crazy when in the carrier- but he could barely squeak a complaint. Mick called from the vet and at first was optimistic. After the vet took a look at Nietzsche we knew that a big decision would have to be made.He had a tumor in his airway which was blocking air flow into his lungs. I informed the boys of the situation and they were both very sad. Thomas took it especially hard since he and the cat have become very close in the last years. I kept telling myself “i can be strong for the boys” but once Thomas started crying I completely lost it. Mick said he’d come home and pick us up so we could say goodbye. The boys and I went outside and pick some cat nip and flowers from the yard. Graham wrote a song/poem and grabbed a box of tissues. It seemed like forever for Mick to come home. We sat outside for awhile. I watched for headlights and didn’t see any. Mick called and let us know he hadn’t left yet but would shortly. The kids and I went inside and laid on my bed and took turns crying. When Mick showed up we silently got into the car and took the ride to the vets which seemed to take forever to get there. When we pulled up Thomas started crying again. I held him in my arms until we walked in. The staff ushered us to the back where Nietzsche was- in an oxygen tank. My heart broke. I knew it was the last time I’d see my kitty alive. I took in every single thing I could- his fluffy black hair, his big yellow eyes….. I got to pet him as did the boys. Thomas brought his favorite brush and brushed him one last time. When it was time to go I reached in and pet him again- told him I loved him and that he was a good cat. We left to go in the lobby and Mick stayed behind to watch the final procedure. The boys and I went outside- it was just too hard to sit and wait and we were all still pretty upset. Mick came out and said it was all over- and that he died peacefully and in about 10 seconds. We had to wait for them to bring him out to us- as Mick requested we take him home and bury him in his own yard. We could have left him there- but the thought of that just seemed wrong. He needed to be in his yard. The yard he so fiercely protected and chased moths in and stalked squirrels. He deserved that much for all the happiness he brought us. The tech brought a little taped up box and handed it to me. When I felt the weight I began to weep. What was left of my Nietzsche was inside the box, lifeless. I held the box on my lap the entire time home. Even through the cardboard I could feel the last big of heat from his body-and he warmed my legs, one last time. When we got home Mick and the boys met me in the back yard- by the butterfly garden. That’s the perfect place for him to be. Mick dug a hole and made a joke about how even in death he was still a little fatty. We placed the box in the hole and the boys put various items in. Thomas put his favorite brush- which was used countless hours brushing that silly cat. He just LOVED to be brushed. Thomas also put some of his home grown cat nip in, as Nietzsche just LOVED the fresh stuff. Graham read his poem/song and placed some flowers on top of the box. I put a piece of lavender and sage. As Mick threw the first shovel full of dirt on the box Thomas broke down in sobs. I followed suit and we continued until Mick said “good bye Nietzsche we will miss you”.

And that, we will…..

Rest in piece little fatty- you were so much more to us than ‘just a cat’.

Nietzsche
May 13th, 1993-August 11th, 2007