More than just a cat
Tonight we said goodbye to our kitty cat of 15 years. We just came in from burying him in our yard. It was completely devastating. He woke up fine but throughout the day was having trouble breathing. Earlier in the day i called the vet and was instructed to keep an eye on him. By this evening i knew we had to take him in. Mick volunteered and we packed him in his carrier and off they went. Usually Nietzsche howls like crazy when in the carrier- but he could barely squeak a complaint. Mick called from the vet and at first was optimistic. After the vet took a look at Nietzsche we knew that a big decision would have to be made.He had a tumor in his airway which was blocking air flow into his lungs. I informed the boys of the situation and they were both very sad. Thomas took it especially hard since he and the cat have become very close in the last years. I kept telling myself “i can be strong for the boys” but once Thomas started crying I completely lost it. Mick said he’d come home and pick us up so we could say goodbye. The boys and I went outside and pick some cat nip and flowers from the yard. Graham wrote a song/poem and grabbed a box of tissues. It seemed like forever for Mick to come home. We sat outside for awhile. I watched for headlights and didn’t see any. Mick called and let us know he hadn’t left yet but would shortly. The kids and I went inside and laid on my bed and took turns crying. When Mick showed up we silently got into the car and took the ride to the vets which seemed to take forever to get there. When we pulled up Thomas started crying again. I held him in my arms until we walked in. The staff ushered us to the back where Nietzsche was- in an oxygen tank. My heart broke. I knew it was the last time I’d see my kitty alive. I took in every single thing I could- his fluffy black hair, his big yellow eyes….. I got to pet him as did the boys. Thomas brought his favorite brush and brushed him one last time. When it was time to go I reached in and pet him again- told him I loved him and that he was a good cat. We left to go in the lobby and Mick stayed behind to watch the final procedure. The boys and I went outside- it was just too hard to sit and wait and we were all still pretty upset. Mick came out and said it was all over- and that he died peacefully and in about 10 seconds. We had to wait for them to bring him out to us- as Mick requested we take him home and bury him in his own yard. We could have left him there- but the thought of that just seemed wrong. He needed to be in his yard. The yard he so fiercely protected and chased moths in and stalked squirrels. He deserved that much for all the happiness he brought us. The tech brought a little taped up box and handed it to me. When I felt the weight I began to weep. What was left of my Nietzsche was inside the box, lifeless. I held the box on my lap the entire time home. Even through the cardboard I could feel the last big of heat from his body-and he warmed my legs, one last time. When we got home Mick and the boys met me in the back yard- by the butterfly garden. That’s the perfect place for him to be. Mick dug a hole and made a joke about how even in death he was still a little fatty. We placed the box in the hole and the boys put various items in. Thomas put his favorite brush- which was used countless hours brushing that silly cat. He just LOVED to be brushed. Thomas also put some of his home grown cat nip in, as Nietzsche just LOVED the fresh stuff. Graham read his poem/song and placed some flowers on top of the box. I put a piece of lavender and sage. As Mick threw the first shovel full of dirt on the box Thomas broke down in sobs. I followed suit and we continued until Mick said “good bye Nietzsche we will miss you”.
And that, we will…..
Rest in piece little fatty- you were so much more to us than ‘just a cat’.
Nietzsche
May 13th, 1993-August 11th, 2007