Salt of the Earth

Ok, so we had free HBO/CInnamax this weekend so we recorded a bunch of shows on our Tivo. SInce it’s the first weekend of spring break AND Easter weekend we watched a lot movie. The first was yesterday and that was Blades of Glory. I don’t think I would have ever watched this movie had it not been on tv and free but it turned out to be REALLY funny and entertaining. The next was Little Ms. Sunshine. VERY good movie. It made us laugh and it was also very touching. The dance at the very end was hilarious and as soon as Olive mentioned her grandpa showed her the ‘moves’ I knew what was gonna happen. WE just finished 300. WOW WOW and WOW. What an incredible film. Must see.

We also have these to watch:
United 93
Blood Diamonds
Lady in the Water
Lake House
Devil Wears Prada
The Fountain
Pan’s Labyrinth
THe Break Up
The Fountain

Anyone see any of these?

Tina

Four years ago i sat in a Catholic church watching my cousin marry his wife. Prior to the wedding I hadn’t been in a church for a very long time due to my skepticism about religion and what not. I was in a transitional place then. Questioning many areas of my life. As I sat and listened to the priest go on and on about marriage, love, and religion it all sounded monotonous until he talked about commitment. He said that you don’t marry for love you marry for commitment because eventually love fades and commitment is what you have left. At first I thought that was the worst thing someone could say to a young couple embarking on this ‘life time’ journey together. It made no sense to me and the romantic inside of me fought this idea and belief that in the end, all marriage is about is a matter of will. Since then many people I know have divorced. I watched many of them fall in love, marry, have children and then fall apart. Some of them were very unpredictable and some were just so obvious. In many, one person just got tired of being treated a certain way and left for something ‘better’. Many tried their hardest to mend the relationship but in the end they just couldn’t forgive or change the other person enough to like them again. When you are young you are optimistic and have hope that in the end there is a sunset to walk off into hand in hand. I think as you get older you mature and you realize that this is just something we were told at bed time in the form of a fairy tale to make us go to sleep faster. I don’t want to say that i DON’T believe in this proverbial ‘sunset’. I think it’s way more complicated than that. Since the dissolving of these marriage and experiences I’ve contemplated many times why it is that some people do bad things to the people they are supposed to love, cherish, etc… for better or for worse, til death do you part. What makes these people think it’s ok to hurt people, to not care that they are hurting people and then to act surprised when the people they hurt get hurt? Commitment? Because they signed a paper in front of God and family and friends and possibly a lot of people they don’t even talk to anymore? I’m reminded of that old Pavlov’s theory of “conditional reflexes” (— i.e., reflex responses, like salivation, that only occurred conditionally upon specific previous experiences of the animal.) You know- the whole ring a bell, dog salivates because he associates that with being fed. I think the same can be said in the negative- you kick a dog away from the table long enough and hard and even the most loyal dog will stop coming around. Maybe it’s human nature for people to hurt each other. i don’t know….. When do you draw that line between commitment and standing up for your self? When does commitment give someone else the license to belittle, judge, unfairly compare? None of this was covered at the wedding so i don’t really have the answer. All I know is that as humans we all have a breaking point. I have seen several people ‘break’. The thing that has shocked me the most though is that when the one person reaches their breaking point-more times than not the person who was doing the breaking is shocked. Shocked that the person is gone. Shocked that the person had enough. Shocked that their actions produced such a consequence as someone leaving them as a result of of their bad behavior. So where am I going with all of this? That’s a good questions. Just be nice. Cherish what you have. Appreciate what you have every single day.

T

I am painting again. yeah!!! I am so happy about that. After I saw my painting teacher on Friday I got out my paints and have been going paint crazy. I am in such a happy place when I am painting and it makes me wonder why and how I ever stopped. I have to keep it in my life. No matter what. I have deep thoughts when I paint. My dreams are more vivid. I see things differently. I appreciate color more. The little things matter less. I almost feel invincible. *almost*

Spring break started today for Graham (yesterday for Thomas). Thomas and I spent the day together. Went and had lunch with Mick at the Hawaiian Cafe. Thomas and I laughed and had a really good time. I really appreciate days like today.

I am ready for summer. Ready for nice, sunny weather, flip flops, and drinks by the pool.

well that’s it for me.
T

Today Thomas’ competed at my old college. He was amazing. After his orchestra played they got an immediate critique from the judges. She pointed out every sections and told them what they did wrong and how they could improve. Before she got to the bass section I whispered to Graham ‘ if she says anything bad about Thomas I’m gonna go over there and kick her in the shins.’ We both chuckled. She did not say one word bad about Thomas and the other bass player- because they were perfect. 100 percent perfect.
Afterwards I talked to Thomas bass teacher and he thanked me for being so supportive of Thomas and told me I was his favorite orchestra mom cause I didn’t complain or yell. I told him he hadn’t given me reason to yet! He then brought up the time when Thomas was first learning to play the bass and i would bring Thomas to lessons. Graham and I would sit out side the door and play UNO or read during the lesson because we never knew how long it would be and Thomas wasn’t familiar with the jr. high then (he was still in elementary school). I remember my physical Therapist getting so mad at me for sitting on the floor and he could always tell when I had done it. (that was soon after I broke my tail bone) . Thomas’ teacher thought it was cool that I never complained and that I always just hung out and always had Thomas there on time and for every lesson. I shrugged because I can’t imagine it being any other way. It’s just kind of nice hearing it sometimes.

I visited my painting teacher today. God i so miss her class, being on campus, doing art being in a ‘happy little place’.

Graham didn’t have school today so we spent the day together. He makes me laugh so hard sometimes cause he’s so silly. I love it.

It’s Friday. This week is over. I am glad.
Tina

Wow it’s been forever since I’ve blogged. I always intend to- but by the end of the day I’m beat.

Anyway, today I took Graham’s TAG (talent and gifted) class to OMSI. (Oregon Museum of Science Industries). Usually if the bus ride is going to be longer than 15 minutes I drive- due to my propensity to get car sick. If I don’t drive I take motion sickness tablets and ginger and pack a bag of crackers so that i can constantly munch on them so i don’t puke. SO when Graham’s asked me to ride the bus I immediately said no (due to the distance). He said “please.’ I said ‘no’. He said “PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSE?” I said ‘NOOOOOO” Then he told me that he REALLY wanted me to ride the bus with him and it would mean so much to him and then i said ‘oh, ok.’ So it took a whole 7 minutes on the bus to realize not only that I forgot to take motion sickness pills- but i forgot my bag of crackers and I was feeling very queasy. I had a couple of those moments where it was like ‘oh i’m gonna barf. No wait, i”m ok. Oh I’m gonna barf. Nope, i’m good. OOOOOO I’m gonna barf.’ It took about 15 minutes of walking around for my stomach to settle down. The ride home proved to be pretty much the same. I had to wait in the office at the school for 15 minutes before I could get into my car. UGH I hate that feeling….

The big exciting news here is that Thomas is competing tomorrow with his orchestra at my old college. I’m VERY excited. His teacher gave him a solo to work on. It’s so amazing to watch his confidence grow.

Graham is doing well in school and in his TAG program. He has been cooking a lot in his Queazy Bake Oven. It’s very sweet really. He wants to share all his creations with me which i love.

I am totally in love with our kittens. Rory got out on Valentine’s Day. She came home 3 days later. Graham and I made flyers and talked to the neighbors. I was sure she was a goner but she came home. I was SO happy. So was Graham. She adores Graham. Butters is a little stinker. He is always getting into trouble. He knocks the water bottle over and spills water ALL over my bathroom. He terrorizes my frog. He jumps on the counter. He sharpens his claws on my furniture…. But all it takes is one little blinky look with his golden eyes and I am a goner. Baby Elvis looks all innocent but he’s not. He still follows Thomas around like a puppy and only lets Thomas love on him and hold him. He’ll come up to me for 30 seconds of love if Thomas isn’t home. But if Thomas is home- I don’t exist.

I’m off to bed. I’m very tired.
maybe more tomorrow.
T

It’s funny how a song can take you right back to a moment in your life and you feel all the emotions that you were feeling at that particular time. Ahhhh. I heard a song tonight that reminded me of the summer of ’87. My sister was a huge George Michael’s fan and since we were over seas we had access to all the European bootlegs from various artists. Some how she got a hold of Careless Whispers – the live version from China. It has this incredible sax solo in the beginning that is to this day, one of the best intros I have ever heard. We listened to that song over and over the entire summer. Makes me feel ‘young’ again to hear it. Brings back so many memories of the beach and spending the day at the pool working on our savage tans and then spending the evenings with our friends watching these incredible sunsets. I can still feel the warm breeze and put myself back into that time in my life. That particular summer was one of the BEST summers of my life. It was right before my senior year and I knew it was my last summer to be wild before i had to grow up and go to college. I became a certified diver that summer and saw some amazing things below the water. I had 2 boyfriends that summer-one at the beginning ( who left in the middle of summer to go to summer school in the states) and one at the end. The one from the beginning remained a good friend for many summers after. The other was just a nice way to end my summer. I had a blue skirt that I wore all the time because I liked the way it felt when the warm summer breeze would blow in the evenings. My sister would make sangria and salsa and our friends would come over and we’d party til the sunrise. Sometimes, we’d go to the beach and then she’d make us breakfast when we got back. I became very confident that summer. I was tan, I was thin, I was young and I had a really good time. Funny how many years later it still makes me smile.

T

Hard to believe 12 years ago today I had Thomas. It’s been an amazing 12 years. He’s such a great kid. He’s so smart and sweet and has a great sense of humor. I love him to death.

Today some girls decorated his locker and a bunch of his friends gave him little birthday cards and notes. It was very sweet- he let me see ‘some’ of them. I’m good with that. I don’t need to see all of them. Ignorance is bliss.

We took him to dinner tonight to Changs. He loves that place. We gave him money and a hot chocolate maker. (he loves gadgets).

He’s changed so much in this last year. He’s grown up in so many ways. He has such an amazing sense of ethics and manners. He makes me laugh with his silly 12 year old jokes. Playing the bass and being in chamber orchestra has given him so much confidence- not to mention giving him a ‘cool’ reputation. He has picked a group of friends that I really like and are low maintenance just like he is. He is the alpha male among his friends- but he doesn’t bully them. I respect that. He’s very good to Graham and takes care of him and teases him and picks on him- cause that’s a big brother’s right. The kittens love him the most. The follow him around like little chicks.

I’d say he’s a pretty happy kid. That’s all I really want for him.

Today is always a bitter-sweet day. Happy because it’s Thomas’ day, sad because my grandma died 11 years ago today. I am so very happy that she got to meet Thomas 2 weeks before she died. I don’t feel sad that she died- only because the last time I saw her she was so happy. She died watching Wheel of Fortune- peacefully in her sleep. That’s a good way to go. I know she’s up in Heaven being the cowgirl she always was.

Miss you grandma

Happy 12 th Birthday my little Cha-Chi.

T

Last night we celebrated Thomas 12th birthday with his friends. (actual birthday is the 30th) According to Thomas and his friends it was the best birthday party they’d ever been to. It was pretty cool. For the past month now Thomas has been planning out his birthday-and he was surprised that it actually happened. He thought it would be cool to rent an executive suite at a hotel and have his friends spend the night. I have a friend who manages a Staybridge Inn & Suites and she graciously gave me the family discount for a suite. It was awesome. 2 full rooms and bathrooms, a living area and a kitchen AND 3 TV’s. We arrived early at the hotel to set up our Wii and I started making spaghetti for the boys and waited for them to arrive. After what seemed like forever in an 11 year olds eyes, the rest of the boys arrived with their game systems and Guitar Hero guitars.
Two sets of my friends who had boys there stayed and had spaghetti and drinks with Mick and me as our boys battled it out guitar style. It was awesome. The boys challenged me to a couple songs and I got my butt kicked BIG TIME. But it was so worth talking smack and egging them on. Around 8pm we headed to the pool and the boys engaged in chicken fights, belly flops and cannon balls. I headed back to the room early- leaving the boys in care of the ‘dads’. My friend Tami and I set up the present that I got for Thomas- which was a chocolate fountain. He has ALWAYS wanted one and i thought it would be the perfect birthday ‘cake’. We cut up a ton of fruit and put out marshmellows (strawberry and chocolate), pretzels, pound cake….etc… it was a HUGE feast and I couldn’t wait until Thomas saw it. What seemed like forever in 38 year old eyes finally came to an end when Thomas and friends arrived back to the room. I made them wait outside while I lit the spiral candles that I had poked into the marshmellows. When Thomas walked in his eyes got huge and he looked up at me and gave me the biggest and BEST smile. It was so awesome. The boys went crazy over the fountain and soon they were all devouring the nice little edibles. After eating their weight in chocolate and watching Thomas open his gifts, they decided it was time to play some serious games. One of the boys brought Dance, Dance, Revolution and Graham and I LOVED it. Occationally one of the boys would come out from the other room and give it a go- but for the most part Graham and I boogied the night away. SO FUN. Around 1pm I decided the boys should go to bed. They all quieted down pretty easily and fell asleep by 1:30am. I let them sleep in until 9:30am then got them up for the huge continental breakfast that the hotel is known for. They were all groggy and stumbling around and trying to find shoes and I was thinking that rounding up these boys is like herding kittens. Finally we got to the breakfast bar and they all ate like they hadn’t eaten in days. Sadly, after breakfast we had to get ready to check out. One of the boys offered to pay for another night so we could all stay there-but Mick and I were ready to head home. Before turning the lights out last night I over heard the boys talking about the party and how it was the best party ever. The breakfast conversation consisted of the same topic and several of the boys asked if I would chaperone their next birthday party AND bring the chocolate fountain. It was a lot of fun. We packed up our stuff, loaded up our two tired boys and headed home to an afternoon of napping and relaxing with our kittens. It was a birthday i hope they will always remember with fond memories as i will.

Happy Birthday TJ.
I Love you so very much

T

Last night i had a dream that I was back in the house where I ‘grew up’. It’s the house I dream of a lot when I dream of being a kid. In this particular dream my mom had saved a dresser of mine and it was full of all the little trinkets and toys I had as a child. When I woke up I had that warm fuzzy feeling. Just remembering little things like that makes me feel like a kid again.

I should be sleeping. It’s late. Everyone in my house- even the kittens- are fast asleep. I’m watching Planet of the Apes, and even though I know how it’s going to end I still want to stay up to see Charleton Heston scream on the beach as he discovers the Statue of Liberty in the sand. I love bad sci fi.

T

Ah it’s been awhile since I blogged and I still have so much to say about our trip. Quick catch up here first. I am remodeling our entry way and hallway. It looks SO much better. A ton of work but so worth it in the end.

SO the next leg of our trip was to Moreno Valley to visit Mick’s sister and her family. After our stop at In and Out Burger we just drove. After most of the drive was done Mick asked if we could switch drivers so he could rest a bit before we got to his sisters. I stepped into the drivers seat and drove. At one point all 3 boys were sleeping and it was very quiet. The scenery around sunset was gorgeous! All three boys woke up when the car suddenly slowed down to what I thought must be an accident. I was wrong- it was just L.A. traffic. UGH! We had made such good time until that point and then there were long stretches where i could only go 20-40 mph. My buns were tired and I was ready to be at the Foxes. I was impatiently looking for the exit number in which we were to take – but crazy CA highways don’t have exit numbers on every exit. Mick’s sister and niece had been texting us to see where we were and they said we were about 10 minutes away! WHOO HOO. I looked up and saw the exit number and it said otherwise. I wanted to cry. Then the most wonderful thing happen. The highway divided and our exit was next. I was so relieved. It seemed like it took forever to make the 5 minute drive to their house cause we were so ready and excited to be there. And finally we arrived. Everyone came out to greet us and Steve went back to frying his turkey which we would be eating shortly. MMMMM We went inside and chatted then sat down for a well needed home cooked meal. At this point I was a bit amused because there were glasses of milk served for everyones sitting. It was like it was just a given that you drink milk with dinner. I hadn’t had milk with dinner for years. But hey, when in Rome….. So while I was stuffing my face with fried turkey, stuffing, corn stuff, rolls and a yummy salad i drank my milk. It was SO good with dinner. It all made perfect sense to me as to why it was there. Good stuff. After dinner Mick’s sister Maridee took the boys and me to see this house with really cool lights and Christmas animation. The boys just loved it. We went back to the Fox house and exchanged gifts. The boys were very touched that Aunt Maridee got them T-shirts and PEZ. I gave the Foxes some candles and Mick’s mom a photo album with pictures from last summer. Trish and I chatted for a bit then she had to go to bed cause she had to work early the next day. I think it was at that point that I realized that I was exhausted too so I went to bed. Next morning Maridee made us a yummy breakfast as we packed up and got ready to go. Before we left she asked if anyone wanted a turkey sandwich for the road. I took her up on that offer cause I love home made turkey sandwiches. As we were loading up Maridee handed me a little red box full of home made cookies. i was so touched by this gesture. It was just one of those things that made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. It was so nice having someone else be responsible and thoughtful and kind. It was another perfect day. We said our sad goodbyes and loaded up and headed out for Arizona. I have since then filled up the little red box with tea and keep it in my work bag. Just another nice little reminder of our good time at the Foxes.

…back to my painting project. Painting the walls/trim does not work very well with 3 little curious kittens. All of them have managed to get paint on them and Baby stuck his front paw in my open container then ran away from me- leaving little smeared paw prints all the way to the garage. If they weren’t so damn cute I’d make mittens out of them.

T