Tag: humor

Posted on

Vital Statistics

Of all the weeks to be away from home and returning on a plane, it looks like this one was the worse. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better than today was for travellers. I’m taking everything possible out of my carry-on bag to make the search easier. I need to remember to put my money clip in my checked bag. I’ve been caught with that thing twice! (It’s got a small knife blade in it as you find out from the Knife Sharpener Reviews)

Bike odometer: n/a
Current reading: The Illuminatus! Trilogy by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, The Prince by Machiavelli, I Love Being The Enemy by Reggie Miller and Gene Wojciechowski
Recent listening: n/a
Recent viewing: Talladega Nights, Lucky Louis, Flight Plan
Recent playing: Snood, Bejeweled, Zuma
Recently accomplished: WWDC
Imperative To Do: n/a
Cool link: “While you are reading this…”

Posted on

WWDC, Day Two

adb.jpg
Today was the first day of sessions that deal with the new technologies in detail. Five sessions from 9:00 am until 6:15 pm which makes you pretty tired by the end of the day. Luckily, Tuesday night is when Stump the Experts is held. Stump the Experts is a psuedo-competition between the developer audience and a panel of experts consisting of former and current Apple employees. The experts give questions to the audience via the big screen on stage and the audience submit questions to the experts via 3×5 notecards. The questions are focused on Apple history, technical knowledge and minute trivia. Scoring is done very loosely and correct answers from the audience are rewarded with prizes, some good and some bad. This year one of the booby prizes was an ADB mouse turned into a wireless mouse on the spot (the mouse was rendered wireless by a pair of scissors). As usual, it was great fun and the audience/expert relationship was humorously contentious. The event ended with a tie, but that’s hardly the point.

Posted on

Vital Statistics

I’m waiting in the airport now for my flight to board for SFO. I had a middle seat but I bought a $24 upgrade for “Economy Plus” that gets me a window seat on the exit row. It’s a scam, but still worth it.

Yesterday Thomas and I went on the annual bike ride for his Cub Scout pack. This year I chose the route and it was quite enjoyable. There’s a length of bike path on Marine Drive along the Columbia that is about 4 miles long. When we got to the end, we pushed our bikes down to the beach and the boys played in the sand for over an hour. It was hot by the time we headed back and I was sucking wind by the end. Thomas really enjoyed it, though, and wants to go on more bike rides. I need to make time for that!

Bike odometer: n/a
Current reading: The Illuminatus! Trilogy by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, The Prince by Machiavelli, I Love Being The Enemy by Reggie Miller and Gene Wojciechowski
Recent listening: Last Week’s Album Chart
Recent viewing: Dead Zone, Countdown, Sportscenter, Pee Wee’s Playhouse
Recent playing: Snood, Halo
Recently accomplished: Packed for trip, Cub scout bike ride, Costco shopping, filled up propane tank, paid bills, cleared Tivo bandwidth, laundry
Imperative To Do: Fly to San Francisco, check in to Marriott, pack money clip
Cool link: Flying man (or is that “falling with style”?)

Posted on

Vital Statistics

Tonight I sleep at the hospital so they can study my sleep. It’s very likely that I have sleep apnia and we’re hoping that the study results in a prescription for a CPAP machine.

Starting Sunday, I’ll be in San Francisco until Friday for the annual Apple Worldwide Developers Conference.

Bike odometer: 27 miles (new battery)
Current reading: The Illuminatus! Trilogy by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, The Prince by Machiavelli, I Love Being The Enemy by Reggie Miller and Gene Wojciechowski
Recent listening: Diver Down by Van Halen, Feels Like Home by Norah Jones, Spirit Trail by Bruce Hornsby, Running On Empty by Jackson Browne, Taking The Long Way by Dixie Chicks
Recent viewing: Monk, Sportscenter, Countdown, Rockstar: Supernova, Last Comic Standing
Recent playing: Snood
Recently accomplished: Trimmed the hedges, fixed the new extension cord I chopped with the hedge trimmer, burned CDs for my sister, bike tune-up, fixed watch
Imperative To Do: Truck shopping, Internet for Graham’s room, weed, send CDs to people
Cool link: Honey, why is the water bill so high?

Posted on

Vital Statistics

Graham and Tina are at Cub Scout Camp this weekend so Thomas and I are having a bachelor’s weekend. Some of the agenda items include: returning cans and bottles to the store, poker at Jonathan’s, Halo, Bust-A-Move and maybe some yard work if we find time.

Current reading: The Illuminatus! Trilogy by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, The Prince by Machiavelli
Recent listening: Taking The Long Way by Dixie Chicks, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Dead Kennedys, Jackson Browne, Bob Dylan
Recent viewing: Sportscenter, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Brainiac, Mythbusters
Recent playing: Bust-A-Move, Halo
Recently accomplished: n/a
Imperative To Do: Bike repairs, get watch fixed, truck shopping, Internet for Graham’s room, burn CDs for my sister
Cool link: Gaussboys Super Magnets: Purveyor of rare earth magnets. These are super-powerful – check out the Crazy Pics link.

Posted on

Vital Statistics

Just woke up. I’ve been sick since Friday morning. Sore throat, cough, feeling like crap – that kind of thing. Everyday I think that maybe another day in bed will help, but then I wake up feeling like crap again. I guess I’ll just throw in the towel tomorrow morning and go back to work.

Current reading: Angels and Demons by Dan Brown, Smoke and Guns by Kirsten Baldock and Fabio Moon
Recent listening: n/a
Recent viewing: Heat at Mavericks, French Open: Men’s Final
Recent playing: Poker Room, Halo
Recently accomplished: n/a
Imperative To Do: Get better, call Sears, call sleep doctor, bike repairs, get watch fixed, truck shopping, bank, Internet for Graham’s room
Cool link: The Week in Unnecessary Censorship: My favorite “bit” on Jimmy Kimmel Live.

Posted on

Vital Statistics

Bike odometer: 6307 miles
Current reading: Heaven Is A Playground by Rick Telander, Smoke and Guns by Kirsten Baldock and Fabio Moon
Recent listening: Express by Love and Rockets, Story of the Day, Hindu Love Gods
Recent viewing: Last Comic Standing, Sportscenter, Countdown, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report
Recent playing: Poker Room, Halo
Recently accomplished: Cleaned the garage, strung Tina’s art project, paid bills, receipts
Imperative To Do: Call Sears, call sleep doctor, bike repairs, get watch fixed, truck shopping, bank, Internet for Graham’s room
Cool link: Driving Test: GMAC Insurance 2006 National Driver’s Test

Posted on

Vital Statistics

Bike odometer: 6231 miles
Current reading: Barrel Fever by David Sedaris, Smoke and Guns by Kirsten Baldock and Fabio Moon
Recent listening: Living With War by Neil Young, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Coverville
Recent viewing: Heat at Pistons, Sportscenter, Pardon The Interuption
Recent playing: Poker Room, Halo
Imperative To Do: Call Sears, Graham’s birthday present, call doctor, bike repairs, get watch fixed, truck shopping, bank
Cool link: William Tell Overture, AKA Lone Ranger Theme, played with hands

Posted on

Vital Statistics

There was no school Friday, so Graham went with Tina to her school and Thomas rode his bike with me to work. This was his first big ride and the first time he took his bike on the Max. He did great and enjoyed playing games with they guys at work.

Bike odometer: 6211 miles
Current reading: Barrel Fever by David Sedaris, Smoke and Guns by Kirsten Baldock and Fabio Moon
Recent viewing: Pistons at Cavaliers, Spurs at Mavericks, Girl With a Pearl Earring, Punk’d, Cavaliers at Pistons
Recent playing: GooBall
Imperative To Do: Call Sears, Graham’s birthday present, bike repairs, get watch fixed, truck shopping, bank
Cool link: Evolution of Dance: Awesome video with all your favorite dance steps

Posted on

Jon Stewart and the Oscars

Have I mentioned how much I like Jon Stewart of The Daily Show? The shows I missed the most when my Tivo was broke were The Daily Show and Countdown. Here’s a few random thoughts:

  • One of Stewart’s specialties is taking something a politician says recently and then going back through old footage and finding contradictions and straight-out lies. He makes it funny but why can’t the “real” news do this? It seems so obvious.
  • Jon Stewart himself describes his job as “making faces at the camera.” This may be true, but he is the best face-maker in the history of television.
  • It’s hard to decide which I like best: the fake news at the beginning of the show or the correspondent story in the middle. After Steven Colbert left, the new crop of correspondents they got seemed like they weren’t as good, but last night I saw a story about a women’s prison in Minnesota that was incredibly funny. The interviews with the ridiculous questions are enough to make anybody laugh.

Sour PussBTW, despite the ill-humored Hollywood denizens (Joaquin Phoenix, I’m talking to you) there that obviously didn’t appreciate his humor, I thought Jon Stewart was really funny at the Oscars. I think they were expecting a bunch of Republican bashing and when he started tipping their sacred cows, they just didn’t find it funny for some reason. For example, he said Walk The Line was a remake of Ray with white people. Or that you normally have to go to a Democratic fundraiser to see so many movie stars. Comedy gold!

For me, other parts of the program had negative entertainment value:

  • I counted at least three “reminders” about how the theatre-going experience beats watching movies in other venues. DVDs were specifically called out for their poor recreation of the theatre experience. Telling your audience how they are supposed to enjoy your product is condescending, but many would also argue that viewpoint is very flawed. Sometimes you just want to curl up at home in front of your TV and DVD player. Who the hell do they think they are to tell you that’s the “wrong” way to enjoy a movie? Total bullshit.
  • The film editing union must be very strong this year because the number of montage sequences was totally out of control. The worst was a montage about films that “change the world” (or something) which included The Day After Tomorrow. I liked that movie, but I don’t think it changed the world.
  • Aside from Dolly Parton’s performance from Transamerica, none of the other songs grabbed me. I thought they ranged from boring to over-the-top unbearable. BTW, how cool is Dolly? Despite the fact that she looks like total white trash, she’s got to be the coolest member of country’s “old guard.”
  • I’m a George Clooney fan and really dig when he sticks it to blowhards like O’Reilly, but his tirade about being “out of touch” early on was very self-righteous and hypocritical in the historical facts he mentioned. For example, he said Hollywood talked about AIDS when everybody was whispering about it, but Hollywood never made an AIDS film until 1992.